The future. What is the future? What does your future look like? What will you make of your future? The scary thing about the future is you have full control. The future could be 30 seconds from now, 30 minutes from now, 30 days from now, 30 years from now. What will you be doing? The thought that every little thing you do today could in some way impact your future… that is terrifying. In today’s society we are constantly being bombarded with all these messages, go to school, get a job, get married, get you shit together. That is the way we are raised to believe our life is meant to go. A simple map right? Wrong! For some that may be how it works out and for some it could go the opposite way… start a family, get a couple minimum wage jobs, to go school (if that is what they decide), and get a career (or don’t). I guess what I’m trying to get at is we spend so much of our time and energy worrying about “the future” when we really should be putting that energy into enjoying the present moments.
There is somthing so serine about the way the wind whistles through the trees. The way the wind brings the flowers to life and they begin to dance as if to say I’m alive and free. The sound of the wind as it flys through the mountains and sores to new highest. The wind is a free spirit. It sores higher then I can even imagine and nothing stands in its way, it is strong yet gental at the same time. As I am walking down the street the wind wraps around me almost like it knows my struggles. It wraps its arms around me and for a moment it seems asthough all my pain has been carried away and lost in the wind.
Through your eyes I seem like a girl with no care in the world. Wild hair and no makeup. Confident, loud and outgoing. Social and that person who is always there for you.
I wish this was all true. Through your eyes I look like I have it all together.
I do have some stuff together. I drive, for my own car, plans for the future… but I am the opposite of confident and care free.
Let me let you in on a little secret, I fight battles on the daily, not battles that are seen through your eyes, no. These battles take place in the corners of my mind. Sometimes they make even getting out of bed seem like a marathon. They they tell me things that logically I know arnt true but they sometimes can be so convincing. I smile all the time but sometimes smiling is all I can do to try and help make things seem berable.
This post is making me nervious to even post. I feel vulnerable and naked posting this online but I am doing so becuase I know now that I am not alone in this battle, there are others like me. Nobody deserves to feel these things but god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.
We all have those people who make your life worth living. It might not be an easy life. It will be filled with all the ups and downs, the highs and the lows but these people make it a bit easier to push through. From me those people are my sisters and my best friend. I have my little sister. She isn’t so little anymore but she is the one that I stay in this cruel world for. I have done things I’m not proud of but she never left my side and for that I will never be able to repay her. My older sister is the other one who has changed my life. She adopted me into her world when I saw no hope and help unlovable. She picked me up and hugged me so tight that all my broken peices stuck back together. She showed me that even in the dark there is always light. No matter how far across the world she is from me now I always know she is there and I am always there for her aswell. The third person is my best friend. We met at a time when letting new people into our world was a dawnting task and because of that it took us a year to actualy hang out for the first time. My best friend showed me the beauties that laid in the trees and the simplicity and serenity of a rock being tossed in the steam. Together we encourage eachother to grow into the best versions of ourself we can be. These 3 woman have been an amazing and probably the most important people in my journey. Others have made an impact and for that I am forever greatful but these 3 have changed my life forever.
ReachingReality 