The future. What is the future? What does your future look like? What will you make of your future? The scary thing about the future is you have full control. The future could be 30 seconds from now, 30 minutes from now, 30 days from now, 30 years from now. What will you be doing? The thought that every little thing you do today could in some way impact your future… that is terrifying. In today’s society we are constantly being bombarded with all these messages, go to school, get a job, get married, get you shit together. That is the way we are raised to believe our life is meant to go. A simple map right? Wrong! For some that may be how it works out and for some it could go the opposite way… start a family, get a couple minimum wage jobs, to go school (if that is what they decide), and get a career (or don’t). I guess what I’m trying to get at is we spend so much of our time and energy worrying about “the future” when we really should be putting that energy into enjoying the present moments.
Through your eyes I seem like a girl with no care in the world. Wild hair and no makeup. Confident, loud and outgoing. Social and that person who is always there for you.
I wish this was all true. Through your eyes I look like I have it all together.
I do have some stuff together. I drive, for my own car, plans for the future… but I am the opposite of confident and care free.
Let me let you in on a little secret, I fight battles on the daily, not battles that are seen through your eyes, no. These battles take place in the corners of my mind. Sometimes they make even getting out of bed seem like a marathon. They they tell me things that logically I know arnt true but they sometimes can be so convincing. I smile all the time but sometimes smiling is all I can do to try and help make things seem berable.
This post is making me nervious to even post. I feel vulnerable and naked posting this online but I am doing so becuase I know now that I am not alone in this battle, there are others like me. Nobody deserves to feel these things but god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.