That feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you get bad news. I’m so sorry if you know this feeling. It usually comes a lot with a broken heart. When your heart is shattered and you know that no hug will be right enough to put those broken pieces of your heart back together. Some prices will form back together over time but there will always be that one small hole that nobody and nothing can fill nomatter how hard you try to fill it.
There is somthing so serine about the way the wind whistles through the trees. The way the wind brings the flowers to life and they begin to dance as if to say I’m alive and free. The sound of the wind as it flys through the mountains and sores to new highest. The wind is a free spirit. It sores higher then I can even imagine and nothing stands in its way, it is strong yet gental at the same time. As I am walking down the street the wind wraps around me almost like it knows my struggles. It wraps its arms around me and for a moment it seems asthough all my pain has been carried away and lost in the wind.
Through your eyes I seem like a girl with no care in the world. Wild hair and no makeup. Confident, loud and outgoing. Social and that person who is always there for you.
I wish this was all true. Through your eyes I look like I have it all together.
I do have some stuff together. I drive, for my own car, plans for the future… but I am the opposite of confident and care free.
Let me let you in on a little secret, I fight battles on the daily, not battles that are seen through your eyes, no. These battles take place in the corners of my mind. Sometimes they make even getting out of bed seem like a marathon. They they tell me things that logically I know arnt true but they sometimes can be so convincing. I smile all the time but sometimes smiling is all I can do to try and help make things seem berable.
This post is making me nervious to even post. I feel vulnerable and naked posting this online but I am doing so becuase I know now that I am not alone in this battle, there are others like me. Nobody deserves to feel these things but god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.